6 Ways to Stop Being Selfish
How To Stop Being Selfish: Our society always encourages us to be at the top. Hence we become competitive and unfortunately because of this competitive mentality we tend to become selfish, we always want our selves to be at the top and want ourselves to be the center of attraction, You must have heard that You always become friends with people who have same mentality like you or can say who is somewhat similar to you.
And when we meet and get same personality friends at that moment we feel bad, we realize that how bad being selfish is, how selfish nature is good for short term but it will not last for long, being selfish gives you short term benefits but for long terms and for long survival we always need to be selfless and kind hearted. It is the selfless nature which helps us in our success, survival and for long term benefits.
How to Stop Being Selfish
Here I am not saying that thinking about yourself is bad or thinking about our own survival and success is a crime, no not at all, But ONLY thinking about yourself and taking others for granted is not right, just for your benefit ignoring someone else’s loss is not right.
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Selfishness is not only bad for survival and success but is also plays a major role in Destroying relationships, Many Relationships Suffers because of selfish act of a person, When we come into a relationship, we made up our minds that now We are together and we are into relationship, hence you can’t think as an individual but as a team as a group. In relationships Couples must Not think as “I” but As “WE”, In a relationship everything becomes we, hence It is said that being in a relationship or getting married is the life’s biggest decision and you must made up your mind before getting into it. And you must take a wise decision.
Because After getting into A Relationship it’s all about we, and selfish person fails to understand it, hence this selfish nature and lack of understanding become the biggest reason for relationship failure.
Today I will share Selfish acts which destroy the relationship and also share how you can overcome that selfish nature and how you can stop being selfish.
1. Always Your decision/Never listens
Selfish people never understands that in a relationship It’s all about we, suppose you and your partner is into any kind of discussion and every time that discussion ends up doing whatever you want to do or every time your partner let go his/her happiness just because of you, then this kind of behavior is never healthy, however for short term this selfish act can be beneficial will give happiness or satisfaction or proud kind of feeling but for long term it will for sure not be beneficial and relationship can become sour.
Romantic relationship or can say every relationship must have communication and communication gap can become the biggest problem, suppose you and your partner is talking and only you are talking about your thoughts likes, dislikes, about your opinions and when your partner wants to talk or wants to share something you ignore it or find it not so useful and interrupt him/her in between, this act can be very selfish, sometimes you must listen as well, Be a good listener, and listen attentively and happily.
Hence to overcome it: Always discuss and come to common ground, means have a discussion with your partner and together come to one decision so that other partner feels that he/she is valued and he/she has importance.
Always listen to your partner, about their day, about their bad mood good mood, always notice your partner small things and do ask them about it, try to avoid always talking about yourself.
Here I am not saying you should always listen and should avoid talking, as it says there’s always a middle way, means you must know how to handle both the things, depends on the situation you need to understand whether you must talk or listen.
2. Never wrong
Even if you make a mistake, you never want to apologize you feel that you can never be wrong, you are always right.
Suppose, Your partner makes a mistake for that mistake you fight or argue with your partner, but when the same mistake was done by you, you easily ignores it and believes that it wasn’t a big thing, This partial act or selfish act can become the huge issue in your relationship.
Hence To overcome it: Accept your fault, never be partial, Make same rules for both, Don’t make rules for one person, rules must be same for both hence always try to come to one common ground and this thing can help to stay happy and also helps to form a long lasting relationship.
3. Always want a partner to change
Here you always want your partner to change their personality and habits so that they can match up your needs and wants.
I am not saying changing someone for good is bad, but changing someone so that they can match up your needs and wants is wrong.
If your partner asks you to quit smoking, this change is not wrong, because this will be beneficial for your health.
Here change means ethical and unethical, and you must understand the difference between ethical behavior and unethical behavior.
If you want to change your partner unethical behavior then that’s good, because it will make your partner life happy and peaceful, but if you want to change your partner ethical behavior then that’s not right.
Suppose, If your partner is not comfortable wearing certain kind of dress still forcing him/her to wear it just because you want them to match up your needs and wants then that change is unethical.
Hence to overcome it: Here you should understand your fault and flaws and needs to change your wrong beliefs, always think from both the side.
4. Always want other to compromise
One of the most common traits of selfish person is they never want to compromise for anything and this trait of selfish person becomes the biggest reason for relationship failure,
How to overcome it:
Suppose if you always ask your partner to compromise for every small thing, then this can make your relationship very weak. For example, suppose you and your wife is planning to go out for a movie and dinner, you choose movie your wife compromise for it but again you decide dinner place or dinner menu then this can be too selfish, hence here you both can come to common grounds like if you select movie, dinner menu and place will be selected by your partner.
This can make relationship healthy and happy.
A compromise must be done from both the sides when both compromise for each other this behavior makes a relationship strong.
5. Always want control
Here you always feel that you are control of your life as well as of your partner, you always want your partner to be in your control, you want your partner to always listen to you, You never trust your partners decision, you believe that whatever you say is right and good for both of you’ll, You always think about your dreams and goals and always take your partner dreams and goals for granted.
How to overcome it: sometimes try to put yourself in to your partner shoes, means sometimes think like your partner, how you would have felt if they had never supported you, if they had never believed your dreams and goals , how you would have felt if you have to take permission for everything even for small things, sometimes you just need to trust and believe that yes they can be a good decision maker and in relationship, you must be like a friends not like a boss and employee. Both are equal.
6. Never put efforts
Relationship never works only by one person efforts, both need to put efforts in order to make relationship healthy and successful, selfish partner never put efforts in a relationship, he/she always take their partner for granted, they always want their partner to do things for them but they never put an efforts to do something special for them.
How to overcome:
I am not saying that big gifts are required to make your partner feel special, but small things can make them feel good such as going for movies, giving chocolates Cadbury’s as a gift, small things small efforts can give a lot of happiness.
And if you want your relationship to be successful always think as a team, as a group, as best friends and always think about each other, instead of thinking about yourself.
In a relationship ‘I’ comes second and “we” comes first, you need to put your needs last and your partner needs first.
These are the 6 way on “How to Stop Being Selfish”.
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