How To Attract People in 90 Seconds
Today I will explain, how you can attract someone or impress them just by talking for 90 seconds. Why 90 seconds? Because research shows that, nowadays our attention span has reduced very much.
FOR EXAMPLE, Magazine ads have only 2 seconds to grab your attention, and if you like that ad in that 2 sec, then only you will give your time to that ad. If you don’t find it attractive, you turn the page and move on.
So, in this blog, I will guide you with some scientific ways to attract people in just 90 seconds.
People quickly form their opinions about us just after a few seconds of our conversation with them, Hence it becomes necessary for us, to create a good impression at the start only and to capture their attention at the same time, This can be really very useful for your personal and professional life.
Most people fail to understand what they should talk about when they meet someone for the first time. And this makes them nervous, and they start behaving awkwardly.
And as a result for which, they fail to form a good bond or relationship with the opposite person, and many times people don’t even like them and don’t feel like talking to them again.
Hence if you don’t want such a thing to happen to you or if you want to learn to form a strong connection with people and want to impress people by talking.
In today’s article, I will share how you can form an emotional level connection with anyone in just 90 seconds time.
To make these things possible, we first need to understand three parts
- MEETING
2. RAPPORT
3. COMMUNICATING
To meet any person and to start communicating with them between these two important steps of meeting and communication 90 seconds window appears in those 90 seconds you can create Rapport and can impress the opposite person and can form an emotional level connection.
And what exactly Rapport is I will explain later so don’t worry these points are really very important. Hence I will explain each point in detail So let’s start
Meeting
If you give your right impression within 3 or 4 seconds of meeting someone So this will make you look trustworthy, sincere and safe Which is really very important to create a RAPPORT.
so now I will share five small tips By following them, within some seconds you can create the right impression
1. Be Open
It means to have an open attitude and body language, not a closed one, For Example, If you are talking to someone by folding your hand or standing/sitting by taking less space Then all these examples are for closed body language.
Whereas, if you keep your hands open, keep a space between your legs and take space while sitting or standing, these are open body language examples. Hence always try to form open body language while meeting someone by doing this you will appear impressive.
2. Eye Contact
Keeping eye contact will show how confident and attractive you are. whereas, maintaining less eye contact shows that you are nervous or you are lying or you are uninterested which is not at all good for most of the time. One more thing, it’s not like, you shouldn’t look anywhere and you just need to maintain eye contact always.
You must maintain eye contact, as per the situation, if needed you must maintain if not then you shouldn’t if eye contact isn’t required in a particular situation still you do, then you can look weird hence understand.
3. Beam
A Genuine Smile. After doing eye contact, you must do is you must give a smile to the person before him/her doing this will reflect your positive attitude and do remember you must give a genuine and friendly smile not a creepy or weird smile.
4. Greeting
After smiling, you must start a conversation by greeting them, with a good tone and with full of energy. By saying HI, HELLO OR NAMASKAR, Anything through which you want to start your conversation. And do remember the more nicely you introduce yourself, the more nicely the opposite person will also introduce themselves and one more thing, this is a nice time, to know more about the opposite person.
For example, if you meet someone and say HELLO, then the opposite person will also reply that much only BY SAYING HELLO OR HI that’s it. and will remain quiet, so this thing can make the situation more awkward and weird.
But if You Say, HELLO MY NAME IS SURAJ AND I AM A YOUTUBER. So even you will get a big reply like I AM Ravi and I am An Architect I know this isn’t the best example, but you must have understood The more nicely you introduce yourself The more big reply you will receive, with the help of which you can expand your conversation.
5. Lean
While talking to someone slightly lean forward Not much but little, this will show to the opposite person that you are interested in them and in their talk and also comfortable and open with them try not to do this much while meeting the opposite sex otherwise you can look needy and desperate, which doesn’t look good
Rapport
Amongst all three parts, this is the most important part Because here you can form a mental and emotional level connection with people Because of this people will start liking you at some different level. You all must be aware, that we humans are emotional creatures Who mostly, take decisions through the heart, not through the brain and forming Rapport will help us to create an emotional connection.
There are some tips on how to make a strong rapport. let’s start-:
1) Attitude
Sometimes while talking to your close friends or family you realize that they are sad or angry You asked them WHAT HAPPENED IS EVERYTHING OK?
At that moment, they give a fake smile and say Yes, everything is ok, I am fine:) To which you don’t believe, and later you come to know that yes you were thinking right about his/her emotion Well because of some reasons we come to know that they are lying But have you ever thought what is that reason through which we come to know that something is wrong So answer for this is,
because of their Attitude, Because our attitude directly impacts our mind and our mind is fully connected to our body So what happens if your attitude is full of anger No matter how nicely you try to talk, people will understand your anger through facial expression, through your voice tone and through your body language which will not allow you to build a Rapport.
Hence instead of keeping a negative attitude while talking to people, such as being angry, bored, impatient, etc try to keep a positive attitude while talking to people, be calm relaxed, patient, confident, etc.
2) Art of Synchronisation
Suppose you like soccer then your bonding will be more with those people who have the same interests as you If you like watching GOT(Game of Thrones) then you will love to spend time with GOT Fans. You must have noticed, that people with common interests quickly gel up with each other and become comfortable with each other quickly and form connections. Why does this happen?
Because we love to spend time with those people who are like us or have the same interest as us, People who have similar thinking, have similar ideas about life. Not always, but most of the time, our bonding will be less with those people who are opposite to us Hence if we synchronize with others, or if we do things like them. This thing will really help us to form RAPPORT.
I will not talk about thoughts and ideas, which can differ But I will talk about some practical things which can be similar to all which we can easily sync and can form a connection to the other person In order to sync with others, we must focus on 3 V’S
3V’S
1 Visual
2. Vocal
3. Verbal
#. Visual
55 per cent of our communication is based on visual things To be specific, depends on Body language 38 per cent of communication depends on our Voice Tone And only 7 per cent depends on verbal communication.
The very first thing we come to know here, the most important thing is our body language and sync it is really very important to sync body language you can use a very simple technique which is known as Mirroring. Here you need to copy the body language of the opposite person. For example, if a person while talking is keeping one hand over the other Then you too calmly keep your hand over the other hand while talking if they lean towards you to say something, you too lean towards them And at whatever level you can copy their body language, do it But do remember one thing, that they don’t understand or realise that you are purposely doing that.
example, suppose the person is touching his/her shoulder, then you don’t need to do that If you do that, then the opposite person will understand that something is not right, and rapport will not form.
#. Vocal communication
Your 38 per cent communication depends on the way you talk, Hence it is very much important to sync this as well. The very first thing you can do to sync vocals is the tone of voice of the opposite person. If the opposite person is asking you something in an exciting tone Then you too reply in an exciting tone For Example, suppose your friend comes and Ask You, Hey! how are you? (excitingly) Then you too reply excitingly all good Brother.
And if he says something in an emotional tone, then you too reply to him in an emotional tone and similarly, you can sync the other voice tone. and in this, the other thing you can sync is volume and speed If an opposite person says something loudly then you too speak a little loudly and if they speak slowly you speak slowly and in the same way you can sync the rhythm and pitch.
#. Vocals
Vocal refers to the use of the voice to produce sound, typically for the purpose of communicating through speech or singing. An example of vocal production might be a person speaking in a normal conversational tone, or singing a song.
Here is an example of vocal production:
A person is at a party and they want to get the attention of their friend across the room. They raise their voice and say, “Hey, can you come over here for a minute?” This is an example of vocal production, as the person is using their voice to communicate with their friend.
Congruity
we are watching any movie or a series and we knew deep inside our hearts that whatever is going on is fake But still when any of our favourite characters die or anything bad happens to them we feel bad. We feel angry and few even cry even after knowing the fact that, it was fake it wasn’t real we believe all the things which we see in that movie or series and get emotionally connected with it why did this happen?
this is something we need to think about well the reason for this is Congruity well-Performed Actors always Focus on 3 V’S of communication While Performing or while acting Meaning their Body language(visual) Vocal and Verbal are Congruent to each other hence we find their performance real and we believe it. Similarly, if you want people to believe you and to form an emotional connection with you then try to be congruent meaning it shouldn’t happen like through your body language you are looking nervous and only your voice tone is confident Instead you must look confident in all three V’s In your body language, in your voice and even your words.
Communication
Communication is the act of exchanging information, ideas, or thoughts through speaking, writing, or using some other medium. It is the process of transmitting and receiving messages between individuals or groups.
Here is an example of communication:
A person is at work and need to convey an important message to their colleague. They walk over to their colleague’s desk and say, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that the meeting with the client has been moved to 2:00 PM today.” This is an example of communication, as the person is transmitting a message to their colleague.
